The holiday season is upon us, and with it can come a mix of emotions. For many, this time of year is a chance to feel joy, gratitude and maybe even excitement to reconnect with loved ones, take part in cherished traditions, or to simply enjoy a change of pace. However, for many, the holiday season doesn’t always live up to the picture-perfect image we see on social media or in holiday movies. If you feel stressed, lonely, or overwhelmed this holiday season, that’s okay, and actually quite common.
As a mental health counselor, I encourage my clients to allow room for all of these emotions. The holidays are often depicted as universally happy, but it’s normal if they don’t feel that way. This season, I invite you to give yourself permission to feel however you feel, without judgment. Whether it’s joy, gratitude, or a mix of emotions, honoring your experience with self-compassion is a gift you can give yourself this holiday season.
Embracing the Joys and Challenges of Family Time
If family gatherings are part of your holiday traditions, they can offer moments of warmth, laughter, and connection. These gatherings might be a time to celebrate and reconnect, but they can also bring up old patterns, unresolved conflicts, or family dynamics that feel difficult.
It’s okay to feel both joy and struggle when spending time with family. These interactions are often complex, and there’s no need to force yourself to feel only one way. Allowing yourself to feel whatever comes up, whether it's joy, stress, nostalgia, or frustration, can actually help you feel more at ease.
One tool that can be helpful for this is Tara Brach’s RAIN Technique—Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture. I often share this with clients because it’s an easy-to-remember way to practice self-awareness and self-compassion, which can be especially useful during family gatherings or any difficult moment.
When Family Gatherings Aren’t an Option
Not everyone can be with family during the holidays, which can bring up feelings of sadness or isolation. Whether due to distance, strained relationships, or loss, spending the holidays away from loved ones can feel especially challenging.
During times like these, creating your own ways of celebrating or resting can create some comfort. Reaching out to friends, chosen family, or attending local community events can also offer connection and meaning. There is no “right” way to experience the holidays, and whatever form yours takes, it’s okay to make peace with it as it is.
Practicing Self-Compassion During the Holidays
If self-compassion feels uncomfortable or foreign, think of it as simply a way to relieve stress and treat yourself with the kindness you likely often show to others. Here are a few simple ways to practice:
Check in with yourself regularly: Notice how you are feeling and acknowledge it without needing to change or judge it.
Set healthy boundaries: This might mean limiting your time with certain people or stepping back from gatherings that feel overwhelming. Setting boundaries is a way to protect your own well-being.
Take mindful moments: Simple moments like taking a few deep breaths, walking in fresh air, or grounding exercises can help you stay present and steady, even in the face of stress.
If you find yourself feeling a mix of emotions, remember that it’s okay. Holidays can bring a full spectrum of feelings, and accepting your experience as it is, without forcing positivity, can help you feel more grounded and in control.
There’s a lot of social pressure around the holidays to feel happy and grateful, but real life doesn’t always match these expectations. If this season feels challenging, consider it an act of self-respect to honor your experience just as it is. Happiness and difficulty can coexist, and however you are experiencing the holidays, meeting yourself with even a bit of kindness can help you feel steadier through it all.
If you are finding this holiday season overwhelming, support can make a big difference. As a therapist, I help people navigate moments like these with practical strategies and a safe space to explore their experience. Whether you are looking to ease holiday stress or find ways to embrace this season on your own terms, I’m here to help. Feel free to reach out to schedule a consultation if you would like to discuss what support could look like for you.
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