Beyond Social Media: What Netflix’s Adolescence Teaches Us About Noticing Kids’ Struggles—and How We Can Help

Spoiler Alert: This post contains details about Netflix’s Adolescence. If you haven’t watched yet and want to avoid spoilers, you may want to come back later.

Netflix’s new limited series Adolescence has sparked widespread conversation about the dangers of social media, cyberbullying, and the radicalization of young boys in toxic online spaces. Many are watching the show through the lens of parental fear—concerned about what their kids are exposed to and how much influence the digital world has over them.

The digitization of our culture is accelerating at an unprecedented pace. While many parents hope to control or limit their children’s access to social media and online spaces, the reality is that doing so is becoming increasingly difficult. Technology is deeply woven into every aspect of our lives, from education to friendships to entertainment, making it nearly impossible to shield kids entirely. Rather than focusing solely on restriction, it’s essential to shift our approach toward awareness—understanding how these influences shape our children and recognizing when they may be struggling.

That’s why Adolescence stood out to me in a different way. While the series highlights the real dangers of toxic online spaces, what struck me most as a therapist was something even more unsettling: the chilling interactions between Jamie, the 13-year-old protagonist, and the child psychologist. His aggression, emotional detachment, and inability to express vulnerability pointed to deep psychological distress—distress that seemed to have gone unnoticed by the adults around him. This raises an important question: Beyond worrying about what our kids are consuming online, how can we become more attuned to what they’re experiencing internally?

When So Much Feels Out of Our Control, Where Can We Focus?

It’s understandable that parents feel overwhelmed by the forces shaping their children’s lives. Social media algorithms, peer culture, and the constant stream of online messaging can feel impossible to keep up with. But if there’s one thing we can focus on, it’s paying attention to what’s happening with our kids emotionally—what they’re showing us in their behaviors, interactions, or even their reclusion at home.

Jamie’s story in Adolescence makes it clear that his exposure to toxic content online and pervasive bullying played a significant role in his actions. But it also highlights something just as important: there were likely warning signs of emotional distress that were missed. And while we can’t control every message our kids encounter, we can take steps to recognize when they’re struggling and create space for them to process those challenges in a healthy way.

Signs to Watch: Shifting Focus from Fear to Awareness

Instead of focusing only on what’s happening to our kids online, we can also focus on what’s happening within them. Some signs that a child may be struggling emotionally include:

Extreme emotional reactions—frequent anger, frustration, or withdrawal

Changes in social behavior—isolating from friends, losing interest in activities

Difficulty expressing emotions appropriately—lashing out or shutting down completely

Aggression or cruelty toward others—bullying, manipulative behavior, or a lack of empathy

Obsessive or rigid thinking—becoming preoccupied with specific ideas, rules, or groups

Resistance to authority or professional help—hostility toward teachers, therapists, or parents

These signs don’t necessarily mean a child is in danger, but they do signal that they may need more support. Recognizing these patterns early allows parents to step in—not with fear, but with curiosity, connection, and care.

How to Open Up Conversations with Your Child

One of the most powerful ways we can support our kids is by creating an environment where they feel safe to share what’s on their minds. But starting these conversations isn’t always easy. Here are some open-ended questions that can help foster honest discussions:

“It seems like kids today have a lot to navigate between social media, school, and friendships. What’s been feeling the hardest for you lately?”

“I know that being online can bring a mix of good and bad experiences. Have you ever seen or heard something that made you feel uncomfortable?”

“Sometimes it’s easy to feel like we have to handle everything on our own. Who do you usually go to when you’re struggling with something?”

“I’ve been thinking about how much pressure kids face to fit in or be a certain way. Do you ever feel that kind of pressure?”

“I want you to know that no matter what, I’m here to listen. Is there anything on your mind that you haven’t shared with me before?”

These questions aren’t about prying but about giving kids permission to share without fear of judgment. Even if they don’t open up right away, knowing that you’re there for them can make a difference.

Small Actions That Can Make a Big Difference

If there’s one takeaway I want parents to have from Adolescence, it’s that awareness is power. While we can’t eliminate every risk our kids face, we can take small, meaningful steps to help them navigate challenges in a healthier way:

Keep conversations open-ended—make space for emotions without judgment.

Notice shifts in behavior—not just in their online habits, but in how they interact in everyday life.

Model emotional regulation—show that talking about feelings is normal and healthy.

Build trust and emotional safety—so kids feel comfortable coming to you when they’re struggling.

Seek professional support when needed—early intervention can make a difference.

Final Thoughts

It’s natural to feel anxious about what kids are exposed to online. But instead of feeling powerless, we can shift our focus to what is within our control—tuning into our kids’ emotional well-being, recognizing the signs when they’re struggling, and creating an environment where they feel supported.

We can’t control everything, but awareness and connection can go a long way in shaping how our kids process the world around them. And sometimes, that’s the most powerful thing we can do.